While out running errands with my spawn the other day, I thought they should take a memory from my childhood and make it a part of theirs: Home Depot hot dogs. If you've never eaten from the cart in front of Home Depot, you're missing out. I know they're probably disgusting, and I've been vegetarian for 10 years and it's been at least another 8-10 years since I've had a HD hot dog, so I'm really stretching here, but I was feeling nostalgic. We were waiting in line for about 3 minutes before I saw the cleverly hidden sign on the side of the napkin dispenser letting me know they are one of the only establishments left on this planet that do not take cards of any time. Having failed my children with the fallen through promise of the best hot dog of their lives, I did what any guilt-ridden mother would do--I took them door to Target to get some pizza.
We walked in to Target and they had a hot case of Pizza Hut personal pizzas. I remember being young and LOVING those! When we'd read a certain amount of books in elementary school, we'd get to go and get a free pizza and a button. Maybe we already had the button. A button was definitely involved at some point in the pizza getting process. Anyhow, I ordered them each a pan pizza and we went to sit and look at the Bay. Hot dogs may have failed, but nostalgia was still in it for the win.
Each kid took a bite of the pizza and said 'yuck.' I then took a bite of their pizzas and agreed. It was disgusting. The 'cheese' tasted like a salt lick, the 'crust' was like a crunchy disc of oil. I'm not even sure how they go about making it. The pizza boxes were completely soaked in oil, it reminded me of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer is at Krusty Burger and they rub a greasy hamburger on the wall to create a window.
After asking each kid if they were sure they didn't want it, my three year old picked up both boxes of pizza and threw them in the garbage. My 21 month old son emptied his bowels. We left. On the drive home, I couldn't help but be proud of my kids-sure, I threw away $10, but these tiny humans didn't want to put something that tasted completely synthetic into their mouths.
Don't get me wrong, my kids eat a ton of crap. If my husband and I would let them, they'd live on mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and some form of 'juice,' but today they did me a solid and made me super proud.