Make Your Kids Useful

Hi! I hope everyone is having a lovely Monday! 

People (random strangers included, which is super odd and a little off-putting, but it comes with the territory) like to ask me how (more like demand WHY) I am the size I am seven months after birthing the newest human. Genetics plays a big role (thanks, Ma!) and I am one of those freaks who actually enjoys working out. It gives me a way to release some endorphins and not have to up the prescription on the Zoloft every 13 minutes.

Three kids, man. It's fun 80% of the time, but that other 20....ho-ly shit. It's a complete shit show. Frank (#2) IS NEVER WEARING PANTS!! It can be 40 degrees and the little dude INSISTS on being naked. I'll hold him down plenty to get clothes on him, but the second my back is turned, BOOM. Naked. Norah (#1) is constantly reminding me (sometimes gently) that I'm doing things wrong. I put the wrong kind of butter on her slightly-too-toasty-toast, I took .0000392 seconds too long to get the baby while he was half-crying, I forgot to let her paint her brothers' nails....She is a helpful little thing, but man, talk about Task Master! I have high hopes for that one. Then there's the baby....sweet, sweet Salvatore....JUST SLEEP THROUGH THE MOTHER EFFING NIGHT ALREADY!!!!!!!! And while you're at it, please try and keep my nipple attached to my breast, thanks, buddy.

As mothers, we do a lot for our kids. I don't even want to talk about what they do to our bodies whilst holing up on the inside. When they come out, no matter how they get out, they then put our bodies through the ringer for the next 5 years. Think about it, when our kids are around, we have someone in our arms, pulling on various parts of our bodies, we have kids throwing their stupid ass Shopkins under couches, or behind furniture that requires us to contort our bodies into ways reminiscent of drunken college nights. The female body is amazing. 

For the next few weeks, I will be sharing exercises you can do that involves your child(ren). The first exercise we're going to talk about is a wall sit! 

Here's option 1: Find a nice, straight, flat surface and stand against it. Move your way down and walk your feet out until you have a nice 90 degree angle bend at the knees. You want to see your toes in front of your knees. Have the child of your choice (or a dog if your babies are covered in fur), snuggle in close. Make sure their body weight is distributed evenly. Sit for as long as you can. 

Here is option 2: If you have an older child (perhaps one like mine, who LIVES for following directions), have them stand on your thighs (one foot on each thigh) and hold the position as long as possible. If the kid is wiggly, it makes you engage your core more. 

Perform as many sets as your "weights" will allow you to. If that is only two, perfect! Do an extra one without them helping you. Try to time them and take a thirty second rest in between sets.

Happy Sitting!